Cultural Awareness Now With Every Happy Meal

Hungry Girl: Oh order the whole meal! We could get some 'papas fritas!'
Ditzy Girl: What's that?
Hungry Girl: It's French Fries.
Ditzy Girl: Oh my God! That's AMAZING!
Puerto Rican Guy: Um, no... That's SPANISH.

-McDonald's Drive Thru

Overheard by: Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish

By Comparison, This Title Is Funny

Teacher 1: God this room is a mess.
Teacher 2: Don't worry! It's not nearly as bad as when Jim* worked here. Compared to how he left it this is amazing!
Teacher 1: Yes well, that's like saying the Jews have had it great since Hitler died. It's not much of a basis for comparison.

-elementary school

Overheard by: gentile neat freak

Go Into the Light, Carol Anne

Girl 1: GAH! Why do I keep looking at the flash?!
Girl 2: ...Moth?

-The Whirling Dervish

Overheard by: Minipeds

In Fact, You Probably Should Afterwards

Him: No, I can't come to your hotel room and swim in your pool. I have to get tested for AIDS.
Her: You can get tested for AIDS later!

-French Qaurter

Overheard by: Kramkrad

Samuel L. Jackson Spends His Nights Coding

Nerd At Bar: And by "woot," I mean "double u zero zero plus sign," motherfucker!

-Mojo Lounge

Overheard by: Pretty Princess

That's What I Call a Good Weekend

Teacher: and what would you be if you ran in the wet grass?
Second Grader 1: WET!
Teacher: and what else?
Second Grader 2: PUNISHED!

-playground

Overheard by: your mom

Too Bad He's Always Stale

Indie Girl: Christ on a cracker!
Indie Guy: um, where I go to church, Christ IS the cracker.

-uptown

Overheard by: the ex

She's a Parselcunt

Girl 1: You just say you're in Slytherin because you think you look good in green.
Girl 2: No... I say I'm in Slytherin beacause I'm a cold-hearted, manipulative bitch!
Girl 1: Um... touchee.

-Bennigans

Overheard by: Gryfflepuff Seeker