If Only He Were On the Myspace Webaverse

Man on Bike (looking at guy walking with 3 girls): Man, some guys have all the luck.
Disenchanted Girl: And some guys are you.
Man on Bike: No, see, I'm a singer around here. I'm on the youtube internets.
(Man proceeds to sing gospel music while riding bike next to the group of people, who are ignoring him. Man, perplexed, looks at Disenchanted Girl.)
Man on Bike: Are you Jewish?
Disenchanted Girl: Yes.
Man on Bike: I was wondering why no one was enjoying the music.
Disenchanted Girl: That's not why.

-Bourbon Street

Overheard by: The Moderator

Assuming He Brings The Cowbell

Drunk Hipster: You know who could save this party? Christopher Walken.

-Uptown

Overheard by: The Masked Offender

Now Found on the "Songs of Pedophilia" Compilation CD

Chorus of children's voices from the next room: I see London, I see France, I see somebody's penis!

-Summer Camp

Overheard by: Concernicus

Who, Sadly, Is an Albino

Man on Porch: He wasn't that dark, really.
Other Man on Porch: HE WAS BLACK AS THE APE OF SPAIN!

-Uptown

Overheard by: th shadow